Showing posts with label Nursing home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nursing home. Show all posts

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Health & Wealth

Alexander cuts the Gordian Knot, by Jean-Simon...Image via Wikipedia

As I wrote earlier in the week, our niece slashed the Gordian knot when she advised her mom, who is caregiver for E.'s mom, that if E.'s mom is in terrible pain and the nursing home staff shrugs and says those suffering from dementia (which mom isn't) groan as if in pain.

But we are wise and know they aren't.

Our niece's advice was elegant in its simplicity. Ask nursing home staff to call 911 and do it yourself if they won't. So Esther did. When mom got to the hospital, the admitting doctor looked at her and about six seconds later said: "Dehydration. Massive infection."

They are treating. No prognosis yet. A family friend called E. this morning and reassured her that the friend has asked the nurses to let her know if they think mom's death is imminent, so the other daughters can be summoned. Aforementioned family friend thinks Esther, the caregiver, will be in denial to the end.

Finally, mom seems to be getting proper treatment, and that made me think about the very rich like Howard Hughes and Michael Jackson who are able to afford not just the very best treatment but also the very worst from quacks and charlatans who will play to their patients' psychological weaknesses. Jacko hired his own death panel, and he got what he paid for.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

When Hospice Folk Are Idiots

On the phone today with the hospice rep whom mom's nursing home called in to help E.'s sister Esther deal with the fact mom is dying. We called the hospice rep after she'd left the unit so we could talk frankly about Esther's state of denial.

First question, however, was what can you do to deal with mom's pain? Oh the nursing home is handling that, the rep said. Your mother is moaning and groaning because that's what people with dementia do. No pain medicine needed!!

After some euphemistic what-the-fucking, we told the rep she didn't know what she was talking about, not so euphemistically. So that was a quick phone call. But what to do? Mom is in pain. The nursing home is dithering and evading. Oh what to do?

Esther's daughter in Dallas made us proud. She told Esther to tell the nursing home folk that they could call 911 or she could call 911 but someone was going to call 911 and get mom to the hospital.

I felt somewhat embarrassed. Here was direct, effective and compassionate action, though apparently the nursing home has easily hurt feelings and won't let mom come back. But that's a problem for later.

Turns out -- duh! as they used to say back in the day when you and I were young -- that Mom has a temperature and an infection, which the hospital will get after toot sweet. Maybe mom will end up plugged in and her end prolonged, which I wanted to avoid. But as long as they deal with her pain, we can deal with ours.