I'm Assuming the Shoemaker's Elves Have All Gotten Associate Degrees at DeVry

It's magical thinking, but it's my magical thinking and I clasp it to my bosom as one might an ugly child.

I have no doubt that our burglar alarm system has glitches designed into it; that is, every year or so something is designed to go wrong so that technicians must be summoned. In the case of our system, it's installing new batteries in the motion detector. It screws up the wireless transmitter. On the phone I joust for awhile with the inhouse tech who works for the company that both installed and monitors our system . I punch in codes, remove alarms covers, reinstall batteries. Nothing works. The poor tech IS OH SO PUZZLED. And there is nothing to do but summon the $65 an hour crew to figure it out on site.

But not today. My wife is exasperated at my delay. I'll make the appointment on Monday because the alarm gnomes deserve the chance to climb down the silver staircase in the dark of night and make the bad electrons play nice.

We are have our gods. Mine are small, highly specialized and ineffectual.

In that last particular very like yours, I wager, and I don't have to tithe.