Wednesday, August 02, 2006

First Dixie, Then the Battle Hymn of the Republic: That's What a Southern Liberal Would Do. For an Encore, Whatever Sinatra Comes to Mind.

I am thinking about doing one of Einstein's famous thought experiments, identical except for the fact actual containers of whiskey would be consumed. We wouldn't just think about consuming actual containers of whisky

If I understand correctly, Mel Gibson's blood-alcohol level was 0.12. Our experiment would require either borrowing or renting a breathalyzer, then drinking one's way up to 0.12 and then seeing whom would you curse, whom you would threaten and whom you would blame for whatever woes a blood-alcohol level of 0.12 would bring bubbling to the surface.

If necessary, you can go sit in the front seat of your car and have your wife or signficant other approach the vehicle from back left wearing that cop costume she wears on Halloween (and on certain special anniversaries) slamming her official Naughty Nightstick into the palm of her hand and jingle-jangling her handcuffs.

On second thought, lose the fantasy component.

But go sit in the car and imagine the cops, the flashing lights, the impending community service and loss of driving privileges. And at that moment you would then open your mouth and ...?

Close it again? Or is that hopelessly old fashioned?

No comments: