Wednesday, December 30, 2009

My Wife Says It Will Be a Tsunami, But My Money is On a Giant Mutant Squid

SAN FRANCISCO - DECEMBER 12:  A group of sea l...Image by Getty Images via Daylife

The famous Pier 39 sea lions are now famous by their absence. The Chron tells me the docks are bare. A couple months ago the count was 1,700, and now it's zero.

In a science fiction movie, such an exodus would be a harbinger, and pretty quickly the first undersea upwelling would kill a diver, or the diver could wander too close too an area near the Farallons (let us say) where chemical waste or nuclear debris or Barry Bonds urine had been dumped and suddenly: mangled diver and a trail of bubbles heading toward SF.

Of course, it could be an earthquake, though why would sea lions care? I'd think the curtain raiser for that would be a stream of urban wildlife heading across the Golden Gate Bridge toward Muir Woods -- where they can lie in wait for the throngs of weakened refugees.


Meanwhile, here in Oakland we pray that it will be a tsunami and a splendid future, here in the low hills, as beachfront property.

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