We Buy See's Candy, Which Makes Us People Worth Knowing

Image by roboppy via Flickr

We bought $800 worth of candy yesterday, which is stunning except that my wife is retiring and wants to say Thank You to all those who helped her during her selfless and soul-wearing years at Oakland, and a nice present like a box of See's is a nice gesture and also noticeable enough to be a Not Thank You to those who do not receive them.

The five-pound boxes are good for certain distant family members who would just give away the remaindered coffee table books, which I am too much of a gentleman to look about for when we visit.

I send one such nuclear box to the friend without whom I would never had been tenured: advice, an article idea, the chance to share the authorship of an article. You stood up, my man, and I will thank you until I have rotted every tooth in your family's head.

There are several people at the U who are boxworthy, a noble two pounds worth. Truth is that a one-pound box is just a gesture, and you have to upgrade for it to truly qualify as a gift. It really is good candy, and bad for my math since we always seem to get a box or two too much, and have to humanely dispose of it, a very green thing to do even if it's chocolate.