Monday, November 08, 2004

It's Not Goodbye, George. It's ... Whatever the French Word is For Goodbye

In one of the many many stories about the number of Americans inquiring about emigrating to Canada after Bush's victory, I stumbled on a link to a website that allows you to take a brief prescreening test that Canada administers to would-be immigrants.

You need a 67 to show you are the right stuff, or so the website claimed. I scored a 66, getting zero points for age and zero points for not having a job lined up. If I had said I could read and write basic French, I would have scored 68.

Bonjour, mes amis. El Presidente Bush est un hombre loco....

Maybe I can get points for attitude.

Update: If I can just get a little French down (Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques), see what good things can happen:


It seems that you have either met or exceeded the current pass mark of 67 points for migrating to Canada as a Skilled Worker, and you would therefore have a good chance of being successful in this application based on your skills, qualifications and work experience.

25 points for your education
0 points for your age
18 points for English/French language ability
21 points for your work experience
0 points for arranged employment
4 points for adaptability

68 total points

P.S. My crucial "adaptability" points come from my "accompanying spouse or common-law partner’s level of education." That is adaptability, the ability to have hooked up with someone who can support you if you can't get a job in the Great White North. You aren't a leech, a gigolo, a parasite: You're just "adaptable."


mackdoggy said...

I'm just a 64 - Damn it, I knew I should have completed high school.

In a more mundane note: Is it goodby or goodbye? I've always added the "e"

Anonymous said...

When you have packed enough warm things, you can weave your way through the pine trees and cross the unpatrolled border with ease. The temperature is already cold, so best wait until the spring thaw. That comes in late June or early July. The window closes the end of August, so keep that in mind. The Canadians are a tolerably dull people, so bring along your own entertainment. Be prepared for dull resentment when, as is inevitable, you are revealed to be a Yank. Learn to end sentences with Eh. You'll be competing for work with the other immigrants, most from third world countries. The upside is washing dishes will expose you to the cuisine of many countries. The Canadians prefer to be governed by people of French descent to show their tolerance, so learning that version of the language(laughed at and scorned by the genuine article across the pond) will at some point become necessary. Don't bother with their politics; it is too petty and inconsequential to interest anyone not born there. It is the Canadian genius to inflate them to where they seem important, like bullfrogs making their throats swell. Let's see -- dull, unimportant, what's else should one know about Canada before going? Oh, yes. Snow and ice. Lots and lots of it. But it will beat life under the iron heel of the American Nazi Party south of the border (the Canadians should fortify it before it's too late). I expect we'll learn how to goose step while you're gone. Pogroms should be fairly easy to to get the hang of, too. Now that the pantywaist Ashcroft is on his way out work can begin on sewing the pink triangles. A ring of steel around San Francisco will straighten it out, but carpet bombing might be necessary for Berkeley. The only thing the Amerikkkan government really has to worry about is the 60s generation. What if they start to grow their hair long again?