Friday, January 05, 2007


I've spent a good chunk of the morning trying to sign on to my Kaiser account so that I can make an appointment for a "routine physical" -- as if at 62 any physical is routine. I could probably have made the appointment in five minutes on the phone (or maybe not; let's get real), but that would give the Meat People the upper hand.

Better to be kicked around by a computer -- impersonally, you know. There is no ghost in the machine.

Problems signing on, of course, ensued. But I finally managed to reach the point that I could, in fact, get the hint for my lost password. I had a password written down, mind you. But the computer did not like it.

Finally, I screwed the hint out of the Kaiser computer. And my hint was:

oh frodo!

This would seem to be a cry of sexual yearning, would it not? And in the context of the book, I would say it would have to be homosexual yearning. (Out of curiosity. you Google, and you find .... yikes!)

Or, wait! Maybe my password is Lord of the Rings: The Musical -- remember Oklahoma! --but that would make a very long password, wouldn't it?

I've tried Sam and Gandalf and Andrew Lloyd Webber.... that's it. I would love to figure out what my feverish brain had in mind -- and that's a dualistic way of putting it -- but I want to make the damn appointment.

So we shall never know, shall we? just what I had in mind when I thought my memory would be jogged by the words:

oh frodo

And the exclamation point. Don't forget the exclamation point.

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