It's Been a Problem All My Life

Lydia, our program assistant, writes the university commisars:

Dear Millie & Val,



James Robertson has always been listed as J. Michael Robertson in the individual listings of the Directory which is his preference. Can you please change his listing to J. Michael Robertson.

Thank you for all your help.

And I write:

Thanks, Lydia. If that doesn't work, try Dr. Whothah Hellizdott.

And then he chuckled and slapped his thigh.