Old McDonald Had an Earmark

This whole little phony uproar over Obama's use of a fine old cliche to suggest -- generically; broad brush -- that an effort to disguise the true nature of something is like "putting lipstick on a pig" did make me wonder what other pungent barnyard metaphors might be useful in unpacking the defects of McCain and the Republicans.

As it turns out, something called rootsweb.ancestry.com is a veritable cornucopia of figurative truth, to wit:

When it comes to energy independence, John McCain ain't got the sense that God gave a goose

When it comes to stimulating the American economy, John McCain's plans to cut the taxes of the super-rich are as useful as a milk bucket under a bull


When it comes to choosing between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin, better a good plow mule than a lame horse!


When McCain criticizes Obama about his lack of experience, McCain may well discover that he bit a fat hog in the ass.

As the number of lies and distortions McCain utters continues to mount, his efforts to keep track of them will make him busier than a one- eyed cat watching nine rat holes


The number of lies issuing forth from the McCain campaign is so intense and unrelenting that one might say those lies are comin' down like a cow pissin' on a flat rock.


Sometimes McCain's serial dishonesties make me wonder if he fell off'n the tater wagon .

Expecting McCain's marcoeconomic theories to persuade or enlighten is like going to a goat's house for wool.

McCain's acceptance speech at the RNC fell flatter than a duck's footprint


McCain may be concerned about how others will judge him when the debate format requires him to share the stage with Obama because he is so short, he'd hafta stand on a brick to kick a duck in the ass!


Perhaps on might say of Gov. Sarah Palin that if you put her brains in a thimble they'd rattle like road apples in a bushel basket.


Don't you think it likely that Obama supporters will say to McCain that I'm going to beat you like a rented mule!


Of his daring plans for resolving world tensions, McCain might well say I'm off like a herd of turtles.

Of the basic flaw in McCain's analysis of world affairs, dare we might say It's as plain as a pig on a sofa.


One might say that McCain's heart is dark, like the inside of a cow's belly.

Don't you think that McCain is concerned that Obama's masterful speaking skills would make a rabbit hug a hound.

Not to disparage McCain's native intelligence, but his record at the Naval academy makes the scarecrow look like a genius!

The discrepancies between what Palin's record in Alaska and what she claims in her speeches makes me think something in the milk ain't clean!

Those who think McCain's ideas about Iraq will result in a satisfactory solution, should take an old cold 'tater an' wait.

McCain heard the Obama speech and thought, that was so good it'd make a bull dog break his chain!

Where was McCain during many of the senate votes where he was not present? He went to the outhouse to do his business and the hogs ate him.

The McCain advisor told him the simple truth. You look like sheep shit on a shallow pond!

And perhaps most telling, one might well say of John McCain that if bullshit were music, he'd have a brass band!