Maybe One of the Viruses Will Rat Him Out

Killer Bacteria Hunted in Calif., the USA Today website headlines.

(Headlines as a verb. I descend into despicable journalese. Shame, shame.)

You know some dyslexic Republican staff intern sees "E. Coli outbreak," stops reading, says with growing excitement, "If the first name of this guy is Ernesto, I think the congressman should issue a press release."