Feeble

We saw the A's today, oh boy, the second this week. They lost both games 2-1.

I'm looking for a comparison:

The A's couldn't hit their _______ with their _______. So far all my analogies are needlessly vulgar, and I don't see how that will help the A's. We want to sting, not to wound.

Later: I put the feature writing class on the job.

The baseball team couldn't hit a beach ball with a boat oar. (Nick Peterson)

The baseball team couldn't hit their taste-buds with their tongue. (Cameron McKee)

The baseball team couldn't hit the water even if they fell out of a canoe. (Lester Jeff Banatao, who says it's a cliche. Which will do when it comes to baseball.)

The A's couldn't hit a deer with a van. (Maria Dinzeo)