There Was a Newspaper Column Item Here, and Leah Found It

I couldn't figure out how to write it, but that didn't stop me from forwarding this suggestion.



Dear Leah:

How are you? I am fine. I read in the beautiful Chronicle that Jerry Brown defends his monster digital billboard newly erected in the Oakland barrens coming off the Bay Bridge by pointing out it’s a very ugly piece of land and the digital monstrosity only enhances the scene. (He's long gone as mayor, but the deal was struck on his watch.)

And of course *of course* that makes me think of The Great Gatsby and the Eyes of Eckleburg:

This is a valley of ashes—a fantastic farm where ashes grow like wheat into ridges and hills and grotesque gardens; where ashes take the forms of houses and chimneys and rising smoke and, finally, with a transcendent effort, of men who move dimly and already crumbling through the powdery air. Occasionally a line of gray cars crawls along an invisible track, gives out a ghastly creak, and comes to rest, and immediately the ash-gray men swarm up with leaden spades and stir up an impenetrable cloud, which screens their obscure operations from your sight. But above the gray land and the spasms of bleak dust which drift endlessly over it, you perceive, after a moment, the eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg. The eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg are blue and gigantic—their irises are one yard high. They look out of no face, but, instead, from a pair of enormous yellow spectacles which pass over a nonexistent nose. Evidently some wild wag of an oculist set them there to fatten his practice in the borough of Queens, and then sank down himself into eternal blindness, or forgot them and moved away. But his eyes, dimmed a little by many paintless days, under sun and rain, brood on over the solemn dumping ground.



Can’t figure out how to distill this down into an *item* though. Keeping my eyes open for the first Lenscrafters ad.

Editor's Note:

Leah Garchik takes the challenge! There's an art in column writing, as Herb Caen showed over and over again. Here's Leah (from an idea by Michael Robertson):

"This is a valley of ashes -- a fantastic farm where ashes grow like wheat into ridges and hills and grotesque gardens; where ashes take the forms of houses and chimneys and rising smoke .... Occasionally, a line of gray cars crawls along an invisible track .... Above the gray land and the spasms of bleak dust which drift endless over it, you perceive, after a moment, the eyes of Doctor T.J. Eckleburg.'' And, after another moment, you perceive Jerry Brown's roadside art installation, the mesmerizing multiple-ad Bay Bridge billboard.

The description of the bleak road -- apt for the Bridge -- comes from "The Great Gatsby,'' and is cited thanks to literature-lover Michael Robertson.

"This is commercial art -- and it's darn good commercial art,'' said Brown of the signs. "You're not talking about a scenic highway.'' F. Scott Fitzgerald said it better.