Monday, October 22, 2007

There is One USF and I Am Its Prophet

The University of South Florida was founded just after 10 o'clock last night, and the idea that that so-called USF might supplant in the public mind this mine own venerable University of San Francisco as the one true object that casts the shadow You Ess Eff on the walls of the world is just plain wrong.

Seniority matters. Excellent climate matters. Liberal politics matter. High Jesuit principles matter. Bill Russell matters. The success of your lousy upstart football team does not matter.

You are SoFla (SEW-flah). As far as higher education is concerned you are powder to which water must be added.

But we are the thing itself, rich in natural vitamins and minerals.

76 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jealously will rot your bones Mr. Robertson. As far as USF goes academically, it's a top-tier research university especially in the medical and marine biology fields. Bill Russell? Try Tony La Russa and Hulk Hogan. Though I have to admit it does stink having the same intials as your university. Most of the country wouldn't want to be associated with a city that is so anti-American and anti-military. Now go eat some Roni Rice.

Anonymous said...

Wow you realy want people to read this? You are making yourself look like a clown and jealous.

Anonymous said...

You Have To Be Gay

....J.Michael Robertson said...

brutum fulmen!

Here at the real USF we talk smack in Latin.

Dlanoz said...

You sir, are a dick.

Anonymous said...

This might be the most ridiculous thing I've ever read in my life.

Ever hear that size doesn't matter? It does. #9 largest school in the nation.

And take look at our average entering class compared to yours. Pretty close, considering we bring in a lot more people. Also, how many people out of Cali have ever heard of Uni. of San Fran?

Anonymous said...

Live in the present, not in the past.

Go ahead and swim to the Alcatraz Island… and stay there!

Anonymous said...

All I have to say is:

www.usf.edu vs. www.usfca.edu

who is real, and who is a pretender???

Anonymous said...

By definition, all prophets are misguided.

If they knew what they were doing, they'd never have done it...

....J.Michael Robertson said...

I'm trying to picture this in my mind: North Florida is in east Florida; West Florida is in north Florida; and South Florida is in west Florida. It you were a slot machine, I'd say: Tilt!

Anonymous said...

waaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the geography lesson...

final exam:

Where is USF?

Tampa, FL

Anonymous said...

Cry me a river... Face it...USanFran is irrelevant.

T. Bever said...

You can come stronger than that, Robertson. Besides, there are other monikers out there you can use. How about:

U.S. leFt
U. Sans Fortitudo
Socialist U.

Semper Fidelis - two latin words you could never truly understand, guess those won't make the list.

Anonymous said...

USFCA =/= USF

Anonymous said...

Are you really a professor? If I attended the University of San Francisco I would put a brown paper bag over my head because I would be embarrassed that it hires people like you. Considering you claim to be USFCA's "prophet" I will take it that this entire entry is just satire: but it's still pretty ridiculous regardless.

Anonymous said...

J. Michael Robertson you are embarassing Duke University with your comments about the University of South Florida. Utilizing the language you used from your blog I say "Eff You"!

Anonymous said...

I just read this entry out to a member of my household. This person would like to know what kind of LSD you are doing...

david silver said...

wow, interesting comments, eh, michael?

seems to me that anonymous has a bit too much time on his (guys like this are always guys) hands.

hmm, bill russell vs hulk hogan.

you be the judge.

Anonymous said...

Like someone else said... Just type www.usf.edu and see where it takes you.

....J.Michael Robertson said...

Let's put it this way: No one has pulled the sword from the stone yet.

Anonymous said...

Dear J. Michael Robertson,

Stultissime! In 1956, most everything south of Tampa was considered unfit as per the Everglades, hence the "south" in the University of South Florida. I would not expect you to realize this, however; that would require critical analyses, to which you demonstrate a conclusive lack thereof (critical thinking).



"Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind." You San Franciscans should be well aware of such advice; although you've achieved your goal having garnered attention.

Major fail for not recognizing that sports are a microcosm of society....

....J.Michael Robertson said...

I did know that historically big chunks of Florida have been considered unfit, but I certainly didn't want to be the one who brought it up. I think some stones are best left unturned just as some are best left unthrown.

Anonymous said...

Well, do not be surprised that you will receive harsh criticism for what most will perceive as meaningless degradation of another institution of higher learning. Browse any department at the university, and you will see that academics are firmly rooted.

As a matter of fact, the first president of the University of South Florida, Dr. John Allen, was vehemently opposed to any type of sports, especially football, at USF. Many at USF are familiar with the rumor that Anheuser-Busch offered to sponsor an OCS and funds for a football team, but the president declined their offer in the 1950s.

It appears as if our national recognition is working - we now have individuals on the opposite end of the conterminous United States. Now we only need Alaskan and Hawaiian haters....

Nick Minnott said...

As a loyal student of higher education at the vastly superior University of San Francisco, I feel it is appropriate to point out the most important fact. Considering South Florida must be chiefly concerned with sports (they're football team’s 15 minutes of fame seem to be ticking) they must have overlooked the ESPN show Pardon the Interruption. Tony Kornheiser, when asked a question about the “USF” football teams upcoming game against Rutgers (which they LOST), scoffed at the idea that the school in question was located in Florida. He said that in his day the real USF was the University of San Francisco and that it was a basketball school with such distinguished alums as Bill Russell. True, your school may be larger, but your cumulative IQA (Intelligence Quotient Average) is way, way lower.

Anonymous said...

Directly from usfca.edu:
What are your minimum requirements for admission to the University of San Francisco?
There are no minimum requirements; admission is based on all components of the admission application. We welcome applications from students who are qualified to achieve the University's educational goals. The average grade point average for freshmen admitted to the University in Fall 2003 was 3.4. The average combined SAT test score was 1130. The average ACT test score was 25.

Those are not very competitive admission requirements. Maybe do a little research before bashing a top-tier research school?

Anonymous said...

There is no need to defend USF to this highly biased individual. We need the negativity to motivate our success, on and off the football field.

Michael said...

you might as well accept it. Your small institution is now UUU Ess Efff Ceee Aaayy. Thats USFCA for the San Franciscans not lucky enough to go to any real schools in California. You might want to try SFCC also.

TJ Jackson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Where does USF.edu take you?
I think there's a grateful dead concert playing across the street from your campus. Why dont you go follow that for another 30 years and then lay down the hasish?

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when you mix marijuana/liberals/ idiot with a fake phd and a blog decides to put something on the internet.

Save me the time and overdose on whatever drug you're on

TJ Jackson said...

Say what you will, but there is a reason there was nothing south of Tampa. Furthermore, just because everything was deemed "unfit" south of Tampa does not mean that Tampa or SoFLA is actually in the southern part of that state, so it is not so much a geography lesson as, actually, it is a geography lesson ...
If we want to look at the "sports as a microcosm of society" tilt, try two consecutive national championships (with the aforementioned Russell), the latter coming in the same year someone decided Tampa would be a good place for the eventual "9th biggest" university in the land - as if that has any bearing on anything. Freud would have his own theory on this argument, I feel ...
Football? Five years before SoFLA was founded USF put up an unbeaten team that would not play in a bowl in the segregated South because the wise old men down there didn't want USF to bring their black players - a novel thought in the progressive south. On that team, 9 players went on to play in the NFL, 3 were elected into the NFL Hall of Fame (the most, to this day, from any single college class), and a young guy named Pete Rozelle was the USF public relations man. There's your history, not ten years of playing football in uniforms the arena league rejected.

Anonymous said...

quit living in the past ya retard.
Be focused on how the earth's temperature is up 2 degrees and making sure gays get rights that no one cares about. Also, Legalize it.

-Nancy Pelosi

DSG said...

While the University of South Florida is the 9th largest university in the country, you did not see fit to acknowledge the school until their football team did well. Seems like--at least to you--football does matter.

TJ Jackson said...

Your really breaking some new ground with your creativity! Slinging "insults" about drug use, homosexuality, and environmental concerns while hiding behind a cloak of anonymity is so refreshing! But it is the south, so expectations have been met ...

Anonymous said...

I think David Silver must be a homo too. Has he covered you or is it the other way around.

Kristy said...

You are absolutely out of line to write these atrocious things about USF. It's blastphemy! We are solid academically and you have your head up your ass so far that you can't see anything other than your unjustified rants. We have 40,000 students that attend our university, we just received $169 million dollar grant from the National Institute of Health for diabetes research being conducted at our medical school. We have a great cancer research center/hospital and childrens hospital right on campus. The University of South Florida is among the nation's top 63 public research universities and one of 76 community engaged universities as designated by the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching. It is one of Florida’s top three research universities. We are part of the Big East Athletic Conference. What is your athletic program a part of? You need to get your facts straight before you slam THE ONLY USF that matters, University of South Florida!

Kristy said...

You're comments are ridiculous and have no credibility. It's blasphemy! We are solid academically and have nearly 45,000 students attending our institution. The University of South Florida is among the nation's top 63 public research universities and one of 76 community engaged universities as designated by the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching. It is one of Florida’s top three research universities. We are part of the big East Conference for athletics. What is your school affiliated with aside from creepy priests? You need to get your facts straight before you slam USF. Matter of fact, no one cares about your USF, we are the USF that matters, the University of SOUTH FLORIDA.

Anonymous said...

Wow...hmmmm..where to start...USF to me has never been know to be U of San Fran....Bill Russell?..are you kidding me....you are hanging your hat on another mans achievement....Where you his mentor, coach, or trainer...no..hmmmm....well what did you do for him that allows you to take credit for his achievements......you post and make statments using big words that your computer found for you and you copied and pasted....do not mention our School...yes I said "OUR"...we as a collective have built this school to surplant your "USF" in a short period of time.....what have you done that would make you the true "USF"...Blogged?....well done I guess is in order.....talking smack in Latin....come on..really...who are trying to impress....Stick to your USF"CC" and we will stay with USF.....GO BULLS!

Steve Stacy said...

The ridiculously juvenile (if expected) comments about the military, socialism, and semper fidelis not withstanding, my redneck right alumni brethren are right (that's a double-entendre for you.) Your comments about USF are contaminated with both petulant jealousy and erroneous "facts."
1) The weather in San Francisco pales in comparison to Tampa's sub-tropical clime.
2) While undeniably great, Bill Russell hasn't been relevant in 35 years. Radenko Dobras has been relevant since Bill Russell has been.
3) Our lousy football team does matter. That objective fact is indisputable.

Enjoy your incredibly cold weather and freezing, shark-infested waters.

I will be busy elevating the discourse in the South:

Go Bulls.

Anonymous said...

This is an example of why Blogs are some of the worst parts of the 1st amendment.
You have your freedom of speech, but that doesnt make you any less of a dumbass

Anonymous said...

I BULLieve that the Google ad that shows up on the upper left hand corner of YOUR blog is for UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH FLORIDA apparel. So, aside from my colleague’s comments earlier, I believe Google and their $672.10 per share stock value is the gospel.

Also, I went ahead and bought a shirt from that ad on your blog – so you could benefit once again from thee University of South Florida.

Marcus, Univ. of S. Fla. (yeah, USF) alumnus said...

You discredited yourself with what you wrote and you don't even know it. "Your lousy football team"? If you actually followed college football, you'd realize that a team that's 6-1 with wins over top-10 West Virginia and a ranked Auburn can't possibly be lousy. Plus, Tampa's USF, you know, the one most people actually know post-Bill Russell, is one of the nation's top research universities. You can't add water to powder to make that type of operation! USF may be only 51 yrs. old, but you have to be very smart to get in there. Never reference the Univ. of South Fla. (USF) again until after you do something you should've done for your misinformed rant; something called research.

Anonymous said...

I think Shakespeare said it best!
Queen:
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

Anonymous said...

Just as the original Miami had to become Miami of Ohio, so too will San Francisco have to be delineated. You don't have to worry about that for football, but all other sports.

The fact of the matter is that USF has been watched by millions of people throughout the nation this year. As our football programs and academics continue to get better and better (our endowment grows greatly every year) then USF will continue to be recognized as The University of South Florida. Our student population will go beyond 50,000 over the next few years and our Grad School population will hit 10,000.

The REAL USF has arrived. It's in the other Bay Area, the one that is not as corrupted by special interest groups and liberal politics.

....J.Michael Robertson said...

I think this conversation is going *very* well. I'm learning quite a lot about the University of South Florida. And I'm learning *even more* about those who choose to rise in its defense.

TJ Jackson said...

It appears you have an inferiority complex, as opposed to our fair professor? So many from Tampa are so quick to jump on the link of a blog from a school you say doesn't matter, but the veins are popping from your neck as you write.

The Big East is not a relevant football conference, and a loss to the State University of New Jersey proves that SoFLA is not ready to be relevant. All of this is irrelevant unless you tie your self esteem to a bunch of young adults throwing some pigskin around, which it appears many of you do.

The "statistics" people keep throwing around, after doing a lot of "research" are worthless. Besides who argues that they are in the Top 63? So you are Number 63. Thus, on average, at least one school (and 20% of the time 2 schools) in every state are higher ranked than SoFLA - and this is your claim to fame? You gotta' have something stronger than that if you're going to shout from the rooftops ...

Hulk Hogan maybe ... errr ... Maybe not so much ...

Steve Stacy said...

You people use the word "liberal" like it's a slander.
Do you pronounce it "librul" like Lush Dimbulb does? I feel sad that my name is sullied simply by being associated with you, even if our football team kicks proverbial ass.

....J.Michael Robertson said...

Okay, now I'm impressed.

Anonymous said...

I am still quite disappointed that one would feel a necessity to complain about semantics. O.K., so Tampa has a USF and so does San Francisco. Hmmm, what about the USF in Indiana? Or, how about the USF in South Dakota? There's even a USF in Illinois.

For the love of "God", please stop the smugness.

Evan said...

Love you advertisements!

USF Bulls Store
South Florida Store - Apparel, Collectibles, & Gifts.
www.FootballFanatics.com

Simon said...

University of San Francisco rhymes with gay.

Anonymous said...

And, if seniority matters, then your argument is mute. Nalanda, in India, has you beat by about two millennia.

Jeremi Tripp said...

The reason why USF is called South Florida is because of one thing , POLITICS. You people in San Francisco should be very aware of politics. Here is a link to the official story from USF

USF Site, Name Stirred Struggles

Here is a brief clip for those who are too lazy to read the whole article:
------------------------------------
And the name for the new institution proved to be a nettlesome point. Although "University of Southern Florida" surfaced early, critics insisted Tampa really wasn't far enough south for the name to be accurate.

Other names swirled around for much of 1957: Gulf Coast University, Citrus State University, Sunshine State University, University of Southwest Florida.

Gov. Collins really stirred up a Tampa reaction when he raised the possibility of calling it "The University of Florida at Temple Terrace."

Aghast, Tribune Editor James Clendinen wrote that the name "wouldn't be known" outside of Tampa, since Temple Terrace was still a small suburban municipality.

The Cabinet apparently wearied of the fracas in October 1957 and finally settled upon the name University of South Florida. Its status as a full-fledged institution was assured.

By then, Dr. John S. Allen, a University of Florida vice president, had been appointed to take over the helm at USF.

jaybot said...

Good knowledge! as they say on the local sports call-in shows. The history of Florida is endlessly fascinating.

....J.Michael Robertson said...

First and ten, do it again! Go,team, go! The University of South Florida fight song is available at



http://fightmusic.com/mp3/bigeast/South_Florida__Fight_Song.mp3

Anonymous said...

Can someone from the South please dispel the crazy notion the rest of the nation has that you are still living in bigoted ignorance? Half of the posts are about the most cliche possible topics that my 4-year-old nephew in Illinois would make right after his wicked fart noise and quality booger joke.

"You have to be gay" ... how about "Go back to your trailer park and sleep with your cousin while you collect welfare and drink Everglade moonshine" ... Can we raise the level of discourse or is this as good as it gets?

Sara said...

One of the many reasons to fight for the University of San Francisco's sole ownership of the USF acronym:

A student from University of San Francisco is sitting in an off-the-beaten-path dim sum restaurant in Chinatown, proudly wearing her USF sweatshirt. A woman enters the restaurant, map and guidebook in hand and camera slung over shoulder, obviously a tourist. The woman asks excitedly, "Oh! Do you go to the University of South Florida?!"

I should not have to be asked in my own city if I go to school in Florida.

On a more serious note, I think you have proven that blogs open to public comment generate interesting feedback. It's too bad so few people are willing to stand by their comments with a name.

Anonymous said...

I agree with what the last anonymous had to say - there's no need for blatant name-calling. What's the old adage? "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

While I'm not inclined to believe this wholeheartedly, it may serve a useful purpose for this blog.

And FYI, while Florida is geographically in the southeast, it's not "southern" by cultural standards. As a matter of fact, the more north you go in Florida, the more "southern" one becomes.

....J.Michael Robertson said...

Sara. If I can prevent just one University of San Francisco student from the heartbreak of being misidentified in her own city, then all the vituperation I am enduring is worth it. This is my "300 Spartans" moment. And if tonight I dine in hell, at least it will be cooler than Florida.

Anonymous said...

Well, I believe I'm going to follow my own advice and suck it up... I apologize for claiming you lacked the ability to critically think and for calling you the most greatest of idiots in lingua Latini. I'm not quite sure why your blog incited me to make such a claim.

Perhaps it's the never-ending disrespect we have received this year since our football team has soured a few of the "old money" schools. This is such a trivial matter, really.

And just another FYI, it gets quite cold in Florida during the winter....

....J.Michael Robertson said...

See, where it gets weird, my friend, is that I was rooting for you against Rutgers. I am no friend of the traditional football powerhouses and like variety, surprise, reversal of fortune. And still will root for you ins spite of....

Well, you know in spite of what.

david silver said...

fascinating.

and when was the last time a post generated SIXTY TWO (now sixty three) comments?

i'm still trying to figure out if being gay, being progressive, and being on drugs is, to your nice, sweet, anonymous commenters, a bad thing.

Anonymous said...

I was just watching the game on TV, Boston College against Virginia Tech, and they were talking about last week's game "USF against Rutgers". Hmmmm. I wonder which USF they were talking about??? USFCA can't get that type of national exposure. Face it, outside of CA, USF = South Florida, not San Fran. This is just a fact. I live in TX, and when I discuss USF with people, they readily recognize it as the University of South Florida. One poster said it best. At one time, there was a Miami of Ohio and an Miami of FL. Now, there is just a Miami (the one in FL) and Miami of Ohio. One surplanted the other. And the fact is USF has surplanted USFCA, and there really isn't any thing they can do about it.

Anonymous said...

Do any internet search engine for "USF" and see what comes up first. (Hint: it isn't USFCA)

Type in "USF.edu" into your browser and see what comes up. (Hint: it isn't USFCA)

TJ Jackson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TJ Jackson said...

Again, worthless commentary. If SoFla didn't pop more often - given your "size", which has such great bearing of the quality of your education - then that would really be the issue. By the way, a search of "UND" brings up "University of North Dakota - Grand Forks" surely a program of greater stature than Notre Dame? Sure, sure academics aside, UND-GF has a more prestigious athletics ... or not ...

As one post said, the country knew nothing about the "63rd best research institue" in the nation before you had a "decent" football team in a year of insane perody ... as if the football (or any other sports) team's record ammounts to a hill of beans in regard to academia.

Bucs are bad, Rays need no description, so you might as well cheer the Bulls on until the next hurricane season (great climate argument, by the way - hurricanes all summer, quite cold all winter = niiiiice) ... And don't think the Bulls garner more attention, in any way shape or form, over the other real Florida football schools. No one says, "Dear God, we're playing the Bulls this weekend!" Outside of the Big East anyway - midnight madness starts soon, mark your calendars!

As far as football goes, all you did was spare the voters the split-second pause before they lowered your rank to just above insignificant ... I do hear the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl is quite special down in your neck of the woods ...

And for the record, the USF they were talking about in the Rutgers game is the USoFla that just got called out as a phony, so thanks for pointing that out ... good showing on national TV ...

The real USF need not rely on its football (or any of its teams) record in order to determine its worth anyway. "But we have great mojitos and Cuban sandwiches in Ybor City..." Now that's something to talk about! In the end, Tampa is not a city of great significance - "Ooo! Let's go see Tampa" is a phrase never uttered. San Francisco on the other hand, well, if I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand ... but the world gets it.

Now bust out the cliches and solidify the academic merit argument ...

Sara said...

Anonymous said...
"Do any internet search engine for "USF" and see what comes up first. (Hint: it isn't USFCA)"

Actually, on Google (the definitive search engine) the first result is the University of San Francisco. I have a screen shot to prove it.

Anonymous said...

TJ Jackson,

Clearly, you do not know much about Florida, specifically regarding our rich history. Before the west coast of America was ever viewed by a European, before Jamestown, and even before Roanoke Colony, there was St. Augustine.

I'm sure you're familiar with Ponce de Leon's attempt at finding the "Fountain of Youth"; well, Florida is home to the most world's most extensive network of underwater springs. No, I don't assume you'd know too much regarding karst topography - you're more the Shakespearean type, eh?

Shall I even mention our tremendous biodiversity? I don't suppose you've traveled to this state, but if you do in the future, be sure to visit some of our most coveted preserves and state parks (http://www.floridastateparks.org/).

True, we have a few hurricanes once and awhile, but unlike the seismic adjustment that you experience (except for that mid-plate 6.0 quake we had in October of 2006, and a few other "biggies" in the past - http://earthquake.usgs.gov/regional/states.php?region=Florida) we are relatively stable. Fortunately for us, hurricane projection is many times more reliable than earthquake prediction.

Please remember, you guys are overdue. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be anywhere near the reclaimed land of San Francisco when it comes. What genius decided to throw rubble into the bay to make way for more development?

Anonymous said...

Now, I'm fairly interested in knowing this... why is it that the University of San Francisco's graduate studies lack the ability to pursue the doctoral qualification in many disciplines, especially so concerning the hard sciences?

Most undergraduate programs at USF (in Florida) are extremely rigorous, and we offer doctoral degrees in most subjects. During my undergraduate, upper-level coursework, most of my exams were entirely essay formatted and many involved a demonstrated requirement of applied theory. I'm finding that this has prepared me well for graduate studies.

And just for the record, I'm well aware that your university was not named the University of San Francisco until the 1930s; furthermore, the University of South Florida never practiced gender discrimination - your beloved USF did not allow enrollment of females until some years after the founding of our USF.

I'm not attacking anyone, but rather stating facts.

James Tedford said...

U. of South Florida is proving its credentials as a research institution. One little post out west does not escape its penetrating gaze!

It also is proving to be well-endowed with reactionary literalists and tools of the media.

For a group of supposedly deliberative thinkers, carefully testing hypotheses against alternative theories and "the facts," worshiping in the temple of empiricism, it sure didn't take much for many of you to get whipped into a frenzy by the Tampa Tribune (http://www.tboblogs.com/index.php/sports/comments/you-ess-eff/).

You don't need a Ph.D. in the "hard sciences" to diagnose the latent feelings of inadequacy. After years of being emasculated in your own state by Florida State, University of Florida, University of Miami, et al., you are compensating by drawing attention to your large student body and potent football team.

You are the pimped out Hummer to which the west coast USF is a Mini Cooper. You are the San Francisco Barry Bonds to which the west coast USF is the Pittsburgh Bonds.

Get a sense of humor! If you had researched beyond this one little post, you might learn a thing or two about humor from Dr. Robertson. Irony is a beautiful thing, as is subtlety and self-deprecation.

Your friends at USF will be rooting for you against Connecticut on Saturday.

James Tedford said...

For the record, here is the untruncated link to the Tampa Tribune blog.

If that doesn't work, just add /you-ess-eff to untruncate the previous URL.

cmhalloran said...

I love that going to school in San Francisco makes us all gay, left, weed smoking, hippie kids who learn from gay, left, weed smoking hippie Professors. Furthermore, I love that that's Florida's only counter argument... way to think about something on a complex level. In attempt to "bash" the real USF, the Floridans sound quite intelligent (damn, I wish I had gone there). At USF (in San Francisco), we might not have a football team but we don't because we stood up for race discrimination... we did something respectable. And even though we don't have a football team, we spend our time doing cultural things. Well I'm off to going to go get burned out and then protest. Good luck Dr. R.

B. Lundigan said...

The University of South Florida's prize-winning Division of Life Sciences is working on another prize-winning experiment.

Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing,--
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

Next week: How to make moonshine out of orange peels.

Anonymous said...

Upon retroactive examination of the professors original blog, such hindsight (which is, of course, 20/20), seemingly reveals a commentary ardently and willfully acrimonious in essence; however, one’s inclination to such a revelation should remain gregarious. For not a moment should one regard the professor as a disillusioned, envious individual by means of an insubstantial 113 words. From heretofore, I shall attempt to judge all literary figures by the golden standard of 113 words. This logic shall work well this weekend… I believe I will assume the character of Dostoevsky after the first 113 words of Crime and Punishment.

Therefore, in concerning the professor Robertson, such an aspersion from an individual of academia appears to skirt the tacit agreement of mutual, inter-institutional respect; however, my presumptuous assertions now remain null and void.

While my initial post exists as an attestation to a lamentable day, no organism of the homo sapiens species, much less a professor, deserves such foundationless insult characteristic of the fallacious ad hominem logic.

Consequently, I hope my apologies were accepted professor Robertson (regarding my previous philippic and demagogic diatribe). Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. I am only human, and I attend the University of South Florida (what more can you expect right? The orangeshine must be getting to my head...). I can only hope the others guilty of incessant personal attacks would apologize as well.

Students of the University of San Francisco, do not let your indignation sour your psychological construct of us "bumpkins." Upon an inquisition into the genesis of this blog, it should be known that a forum on our sports fan page has created a thread concerning said blog. Assumptions made upon insignificant sampling and biased data are the proverbial Achilles’ heel to relevant analyses. We have hundreds of thousands of alumnae; the arbiters of USF (CA) would be gravely mistaken to apply the actions of a few to the character of the whole.

The smell of alligator meat and Busch beer awaits. I wonder, is Nascar racing today?

....J.Michael Robertson said...

Everyone out of insults so soon?

Okay: The University of South Florida's mama is SO FAT that if you said to her, "Pi*R*squared," she would reply, "That may well be, grasshopper, but it's more imporant to remember that pie are good!"